


Layers of Pining

by DracoSH



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Love Confession, M/M, Mentions of Shadam, Modern AU, Movie Reference, PINING KEITH, mentions of allurance, mentions of car accident & hospital, pining shiro, wingman lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 10:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15532476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DracoSH/pseuds/DracoSH
Summary: Lance has a plan. The only flaw in it: Shiro's disastrous pining.





	Layers of Pining

**Author's Note:**

  * For [epiproctan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/epiproctan/gifts).



> Hello, Epi! I know I'm a bit late, but I wanted to do this for your birthday!!! Happy birthday even if it's a little late, I love you a lot and even if I'm not good at finding words for this kind of things, I just wanted to let you know that you're very important to me, and I'm so happy you're my friend! I hope you've had a wonderful day, and that everything looks bright for you in the future.

“You can do this, Takashi.”

 

He’s staring at his own reflection in the bathroom’s mirror, trying to erase the last bits of uncertainty from his face. He sighs before brushing away a few white strands of hair from his forehead for the hundredth time. He zips up his brown leather jacket halfway through. He straightens his shirt again. It’s awkward, really. No matter this outfit always worked for hookups and flirting, no matter how confident he usually is when wearing it, none of it matters now. It all looks wrong, like he’s not standing right, like nothing fits. All he can feel is nervousness thrumming through his body, his chest tight with emotion at the thought of what he’s agreed to do —

 

“C’mon dude. You got this. Keith likes you already anyway,” he hears his roommate yell from the other side of the apartment. He wants to laugh at what Lance is implying : that Keith (Oh god, Keith) loves him too. He is adamant about that, but, the thing is, Lance doesn’t know. He’d made his way into Shiro’s life — and his apartment — when Keith had moved to the other side of the state, and he had told Allura he needed a new roommate. And the boy had been so fixated on Allura that he never noticed the enamored glances Shiro shot at his best friend every time he’d come to visit. He’d only realized when Matt had teased him loudly about it, and Lance had been in the vicinity. And since then, he had made it his duty to get Shiro and Keith together.

 

« He’s definitely going to love that. There’s enough cleavage here for anyone to thirst on for weeks, » Lance says, leaning against the doorframe with nonchalance. He nods to himself as he assesses Shiro’s outfit with a confident smirk.

 

This new whim of his is what led him to that point, he thinks when he shoves the phone and the earbuds in his pockets. His hands are already shivering at the mere thought of seeing Keith. 

 

And Shiro shakes his head.

 

Keith’s not like that. Keith doesn’t look at that in people.  

 

He’d never even had a boyfriend, or a girlfriend. Once, when Shiro had been with Adam and asked him about it, Keith had simply told him he didn’t know what it’d take for him to fall in love. “Loyalty? Someone… I’d feel comfortable talking to, I guess.” He’d added a few days later, frowning and looking at the ground. 

 

And Keith is loyalty incarnate. Shiro will always remember, he’ll always remember that day when he’d woken up at the hospital, and Keith had been there, when even the person he loved the most had given up on him. Keith had been there, with bags under his eyes, snoring lightly at his bedside, an abandoned book on his lap. It felt like lightning thundering through him, that realization. He remembers the asepticized smell and the white everywhere, his whole body numb, his right arm in a cast and bandages over his face. After the initial shock, memories of what happened rushing back to him, the crushing of metal against metal, the screeching of tires, the excruciating  _ pain _ , as if his whole body was being crushed, this new feeling blossoming into him felt like a rebirth. Seeing Keith there, always a steadfast in his life, even after he’d broken up with Adam, even after he’d had to leave him for his future, had made him feel — safe. More than he had in months. 

 

And he’d also realized, as he was staring at Keith’s sleeping form, exhausted, small hands resting on the book forgotten on his lap, long charcoal lashes hiding gray-blue eyes, black, soft hair falling messily and the sunlight coming from the open window softly caressing his features, that he was beautiful. Even when everything he has in mind about that moment is still a blur, every image of Keith is carved in his mind, his worried stare, his gentle, feather-light touch burning his cheek, his feeble and uncertain whisper, « Shiro? », the hot tears rolling down his face, drops falling on the bridge of his own nose, sobs stuck in his throat. His face against the crook of his neck, the soft leather when his hand reached Keith’s side. 

 

“ — Shiro? Hey, Shiro, are you in there? Earth to Shiro!”

 

Lance shakes him a little, hits Shiro on the back and laughs, clear and loud. Shiro feels like a criminal who’d just been caught in the middle of stealing, as if his daydream itself were a felony in such a critical situation. 

 

“I don’t know if I can do this…” He admits. 

 

He’s looking down, the white tiles on the bathroom’s floor suddenly very appealing compared to the task forming ahead of him. 

 

“You remember the plan, right?” Lance says, as he takes his hand to lead him to the living room. Shiro can’t help but smile at the thought that only Keith could make him go like that, make him lose all his cool, all bright blue eyes, a laugh like crystal, soft hair caressing warm skin, and against that, any plan is doomed to fail. 

 

Lance makes him sit down on the sofa, grabs the phone in his pocket. It flickers on, and he quickly taps the music app. 

 

“All you gotta do is ask him to listen to this song. It’s not that hard, right?” 

 

A crooked smile rests on his lips, and Shiro nods. Lance is right, he knows. Of all the plans Lance created, that one is by far the… most okay one. But the result is still the same. He’s still trying to get across the fact that he likes Keith,  _ like that _ . And that’s where the problem is. He’s still not used to how his heart flutters at the mere sight of him. How he flatlines every time he speaks, every time he touches him. There’s no way he can learn how to get used to it. It’s not even a new feeling anymore. It’s been almost a year. But it’s still killing him every day, leading him to make a terrible, awful fool out of himself. And he’s pretty sure this time will be no exception. 

 

“Okay, listen. Shiro.” Lance kneels, puts the phone in his hands, and his smaller hands linger on there, trying to soothe the terror, the storm rising in his mind. “I know I haven’t been the most observant person on the planet. I know I messed up more than once. But I also know that whatever there is between you and Keith, is strong. Seriously, I don’t know the guy that well, but the few times he hasn’t tried to piss me off, he’s literally been glued to your hip. I know how siblings look at each other. And if I had to think of anything to compare to the way Keith looks at you, it’d be how my dad and my mom look at each other. And they’re in love. Very much so.”

 

Shiro bites his lip. Of course, he’s not stupid. He knows he’s important to Keith, every time, every instant they’re together, Keith makes it abundantly clear. And as he stares in Lance’s determined eyes, he makes it sound so real. When he listens to Lance, who’s got no reason to assume Keith’s feelings, who was external to all this until he’d decided that they had to be together, he believes him. A rational fraction of him keeps telling him in a small voice that Keith cares, that Keith could be in love with him the same way he is, no matter how unrealistic it sounds and how it’s a stand against everything Shiro chose to believe for a whole year. 

 

“I don’t know if I can do that. Keith, he’s — he’s… amazing...” Shiro stutters, and amazing is the understatement of the year, but Shiro has never been a man of poetry. Especially when it’s about Keith. Oh, he sure does  remember the time Lance tried to have him write love poems. There just aren’t words to explain what Keith is to him. He’s everything, the Sun to his Earth, and all that — but even these comparisons Lance had tried fell flat to Shiro’s ears. 

 

“Of course, you can. Of course. It’s just asking him to listen to a song. And he’s probably never even seen the movie. Everything is going to be fine.” Lance says, voice softer and kinder, and Shiro’s hands tighten on the phone, he fiddles with the earbuds wrapped around it. “When you love someone, they always look like they’re more than the whole universe, when really, there’s nothing special about mullet boy.”

 

And Shiro can’t help but huff a laugh at the truth of Lance’s words. Love makes one blind. The problem is — even when he was head over heels for Adam, he’d had no problem seeing the greatness in Keith. He’d had no problem seeing how this boy had everything in him to be someone important. Someone special. Back then, he’d just miscalculated exactly how special he’d been. He couldn’t have foreseen what a man this teenager he’d taken under his wing when he himself was fresh out of high school would become. And he surely couldn’t have predicted how this person would make  _ him _ feel like a high schooler again. But there’s a truth in Lance’s words. Shiro knows it. 

 

So Shiro nods, almost imperceptible. At most, it’ll be what, the hundredth time he’s embarrassed himself in front of Keith? And so far… it is true that Keith forgave him every time, even when they hadn’t seen each other for two months and Shiro had greeted him by stuttering bad poetry about his eyes. 

 

Lance puts both his hands on his shoulders and tells him, loud, clear and self-assured “Repeat after me. You got this.”  — all of the small amount of resolve Shiro could have gotten falters at how little time he’s got to convince himself it’s a good idea — “You got this.”

 

“I got this,” Shiro says.

 

« Say it again, » Lance demands, « Louder. »

 

« I got this, » Shiro complies, somehow more confident.

 

« Now get out of here and only come back with a boyfriend attached to your arm! » Lance orders as Shiro gets up, before roughly shoving him to the door, « out, out! » he repeats, a smile and a laugh on his lips. And Shiro can’t help but follow, Shiro can’t help but trust Lance in that exact moment, right before the storm, before everything goes down, and he loses Keith forever because he’s going to ask for more than Keith can give. 

 

The door slams shut behind him, and now, he’s entirely alone. He checks the damn phone — 1: 15 PM. Keith and him are to meet at the bus stop near the hotel Keith is staying at for the week. Then he’ll take him to that park they always used to go together. And they’ll sit on that bench they’ve monopolized way too much during Keith’s last year of high school, the place where they bonded, learned to know each other. The place where Shiro witnessed the birth of a star, unwittingly preparing himself for a whole year of suffering one of the worst cases of pining he’d ever seen. Then he’ll give the device to Keith and ask him to listen to that song, that dumb song Lance picked, absolutely certain that “someone as boring as mullet guy wouldn’t watch those movies, so he won’t even think about making the connection”, and whatever happens after, is in Keith’s hands. Shiro is pretty sure that it’s going to be a very embarrassing excuse about how the movie is one of his favorite and this was a very twisted way to ask Keith to watch it with him. 

 

Shiro starts to make his way to the bus stop, fifteen minutes is really more than enough, so he takes his time. Double checks how he looks through the front camera of his phone, touching the white strands again, trying to find a way so they won’t look too awkward — Shiro still had nightmares about Lance’s terrible holler when he’d seen what the dye had done to Shiro’s forelock —  and scrunches up his nose as his fingers reach the rough scar tissue stretching over his face. 

 

In these moments of expectant terror, of dreaded hope, Shiro thinks that it’s actually… nice to finally be in love, again, after those two years of mourning a dead relationship. To be able to think of someone and having that warm, anxious, but overly positive feeling, that’s so typical of young love blossoming in his tired bones and exhausted muscles, like it’s a new life born out of nothing. Well, it isn't exactly nothing. He’s always loved Keith. He’s always cared for him and wanted to make him happy, and make him feel like he has a family for himself. Not just one that would take him in because of necessity, because they needed a new kid to foster, and Keith needed a place to stay, but something warm, someone to whom Keith could tell his secrets, his uncertainties, and insecurities. 

 

But this, is different. If it weren’t for the fact that it’s addressed to Keith and could do more harm than good in the long run, if it didn’t make things awkward with his best friend of four years? Shiro would relish feeling that way again, being happy for the simple fact that someone exists, just wanting to spend time with him, to hold him and kiss him. When he forgets about everything it could mess up? It’s the best feeling in the world if you’d ask Shiro.  

 

He can’t get enough of how his chest tighten every time he even so little as gets a glimpse of Keith’s form, of the agonizing need to run his fingers over the smooth skin of his hip daringly peeking from under his sweater when Keith takes an impromptu nap on the sofa in the living room, catching up on the sleep uni unfairly stole from him, and he whines endearingly when Shiro tries to shake him awake, only curling up tighter and furrowing his brow as an answer. And then Shiro can’t say a thing because he’s trying so hard to control his urge to kiss these soft lips, to run a hand in the soft black locks of hair messily falling over his closed eyes.  He can’t get enough of his terrifying lack of self-control, and despite all the times he embarrasses and hates himself, he’s glad that he gets to experience this carefree feeling again when he manages to forget about all the history he has with Keith. 

 

Shiro’s breath catches in his throat when he finally reaches the bus stop. He’s arrived ten minutes early and yet Keith is already there. He’s looking at the street in front of him, hasn’t noticed Shiro yet, and— Shiro allows himself to stare. He’s handsome. It’s been months since he last saw him, and he understands why people say distance makes the heart grow fonder. Something flutters in his chest as he realizes Keith is wearing the university jacket Shiro gave him last time he came, and his legs feel like jelly, his hands like mush when he can make out his expression. His hair is caressed by the light spring breeze, his face, kissed by the sun, and he’s got a calm, serene smile on his face. His features soften as he takes in the sight of this familiar place, a smile full of nostalgia drawn on his lips. His eyes, in the sunlight, shine a vibrant shade of violet, and it looks like the whole universe is kept in these irises. His outfit contrasts with Shiro’s carefully chosen one, a worn out red sweater, old black jeans, old sneakers. 

 

God, no wonder he’s unable to function properly when Keith looks like this without even trying. He finds himself stopping in his tracks, cheeks red, and already, the hand clutching the phone is clammy with sweat and he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to align two words together, he doesn’t know if he’ll have the strength to explain himself. His heart stops when Keith spots him and starts waving with a bright smile, eyes bright and glittering. Shiro feels his heart stop at the sight, it’s adorable, he’s adorable. There is no way Shiro can do it, there is no way Shiro can successfully ask Keith out. Billions of thoughts rush into his head, and in the middle of it, he somehow manages to walk up to Keith, and hope his face isn’t too red.

 

“K—Keith! It’s so good to see you!”  He manages to stutter out, and hates himself for how it sounds, but he has no idea how to function in that moment. He doesn’t know how even if he constantly feels like he could map Keith’s face in his sleep, somehow the real thing always has something more than the one in his memory. Somehow he’ll never be able to prepare himself mentally when he’s supposed to see him, even when it’s a routine that has been going on for a year now. 

 

Keith moves in his personal space, and Shiro’s brain spontaneously combusts when Keith puts his head against his neck and his arms around his chest, and his own arms wrap around Keith’s frame — he’s never ready for a reminder of how smaller Keith will always be, even after that growth spurt after the first few months at Marmora, and he’d come back with more muscle than Shiro remembered. He always forgets, but in these moments when Keith fits too well there, he’s hit by it like it’s a truck and this inner turmoil almost makes him miss the “God I missed you” whispered against his jacket, in the crook of his neck, as the arms around him tighten.

 

He knows what it must look like to passersby, and that’s partly the reason why he doesn’t think Keith can love him like that — too much history, too much habits and use. Because hugging tight, and intimate with Keith’s face hidden against his neck? It’s always been a normal habit for them. But Shiro knows what it looks like to others and how it makes him feel, so he indulges in it with the last two brain cells that haven’t been carbonized by this gesture that used to be normal before he’d fallen in love with his best friend by accident and ruined everything for himself by the same occasion. “Missed you too, buddy.”

 

When they part, and Shiro’s whole being is both crushed when they disconnect and healed when Keith laughs. 

 

“So... You wanted to go to the park, right?” Keith tells him, his voice soft and glee etched in his features, and Shiro better get used to feeling like his chest is going to explode by the simple sound of Keith’s voice because he knows it’s only going to get worse. 

 

“Uh… yeah. I thought it’d be nice, you know? It’s…”

 

“— where we met.” Keith finishes, with again a smile full of memories on his lips, and he leans a little against Shiro as they walk. Shiro rubs his thumb over the phone in his pocket, plays with the carefully folded earbuds to remind himself of the goal of this afternoon, to remind himself that it’s  _ not  _ just some friendly celebration, but somehow, Keith has this calming effect on him, and he knows that until he’s met with the situation of actually saying those words, of actually giving him the phone, everything should be fine. 

 

It’s one of the many reasons he loves Keith, he knows. He’s like a bright light in Shiro’s life, the one that stayed through everything, bad breakups, the accident, his recovery, always there to tell him that he’s doing good, that he’s someone worth looking up to, Keith has an unyielding trust in him, but Shiro’s the one following Keith, now. 

 

“— And then, Slav wanted me to do this fucking assignment and I swear that the sleep I got in the train felt like the first time I slept in  _ weeks _ ” Shiro can’t help the shiver running down his spine at the mention of the dreaded professor. He knows the guy. Almost made him lose his cool and slam the door to leave university, and go to the army to do god knows what. 

 

“God, why did he have to come and teach at Marmora? Wasn’t Altea enough? » He continues, « Thace probably hates him anyway.” 

 

The thing is, Slav is renowned. Since that paper on alternate realities he did years ago, he’s been doing conferences and masterclasses in all the biggest universities — of course, he’d make a stop at Keith’s. Shiro can only remember bits and parts of the time Slav came to Altea and he’d been a top student. But it’s still one of the worst traumas of his life, the dude is a living hell. But what he teaches is important, and Shiro can’t help but be proud of Keith, because he knows that if Thace decided to give Keith access to the masterclass, then it’s proof that what he saw in Keith isn’t just a delusion. And he has to admit, even if part of him is being a good friend and mourns the loss of sleep Keith suffered, another part of him is guilty of finding the annoyance in his voice cute, and if those two sides are fighting inside of him, he knows that it’s a lost battle. He adores Keith in every way anyway. 

 

“I mean, it’s good to have that on your resume, Keith. I know how it feels. But you just have to hold on a little longer.” He tries, tapping a comforting hand on Keith’s shoulder —  _ small _ , his brain fries as he notes how Keith’s shoulder looks under his hand — 

 

“I know, I know. I just. Don’t know if I can hold on much longer. I know Thace likes me. They all do.” There’s an edge to Keith’s voice, as if it’s novelty, when the teachers at Marmora are the first ones who saw the potential behind Keith’s intuitive answers, and really did everything they could to have Keith come out of his shell, blossom into this talented student Shiro has always known was there. “But like, you’re not there, and I’ll never get used to that,” Keith admits, his voice small and barely above a whisper. He’s not smiling anymore, and he just looks  — sad.  That breaks Shiro a little to know the effect of them being apart has on Keith. As if going to the school of his dreams wasn’t worth it when compared to living away from Shiro for a few years. 

 

“You can always call me, you know. It’s not the same, but I’m so proud that you made it,” he repeats. as he wraps his arm around Keith’s shoulders and brings him closer.

 

« I know… I know… »  Keith smiles and looks at Shiro, and he wonders if he’s imagining the softness there or if Keith really looks at him like that, and it does things to his body he’d rather ignore than linger on for too long. 

 

When he releases him, Shiro feels their hands brush and it takes everything he has not to grab Keith’s and hold it in his. It takes everything he has not to let his eyes linger on Keith’s face too long. It takes everything he has not to detail each and every curl of his hair against his face and he wonders if it’ll get easier one day. 

 

* * *

 

This park is definitely the best place in the city. The wind breezes through the leaves of the big, tall trees and the sun shines bright, reflecting on the greens and pinks and whites of exotic plants he’s not even sure he could say the name of. The air filtered and pure, and sometimes he’s not even sure anymore if he’s in a big city, or in the old countryside he used to know so well as a kid. They are the only ones there — the kids usually arrive a bit later during the day, and the students are probably studying for all the upcoming exams at Altea. 

 

“I like it out there,” Keith says, calm and even, and his expression is relaxed in a way it rarely is, contemplative, even.

 

“You always have,” and it’s true. It’s like each tree, each spot of shade holds a memory. He can almost see their younger selves running around, chuckling and laughing as they get to know each other. 

 

A gentle zephyr blows through Keith’s hair, and the way the sun kisses his skin is perfect. Shiro wishes he could take out a camera and save this instant forever, but allowing himself to steal glances his way like that is probably more than what he should be able to do anyway. Keith tugs at his sleeve, and he laughs, “Look! It’s still there!” 

 

He drags Shiro to an old, old tree. On its trunk, Shiro spots scratch marks, and oh, does he remember that one day. They’d been almost kicked out from the place, when Keith had still been a teenager and Shiro wasn’t an quite an adult just yet. They’d both thought it had been a good idea to try and see if the knife Keith had gotten from his mother was still sharp on it. Keith’s hand lingers on his arm, and his fingers squeeze lightly, and Shiro’s eyes can’t move away from it, his cheeks feel hot and his lips are shut tight, and it’s hard to manage to get out a — “Y… yeah. We really… were something else back then…”

 

“Yeah, I remember. Adam almost killed you over that. It was. Cute.”  And there’s a fondness in Keith’s voice, in Keith’s eyes, as he recalls Shiro being shamed by who he so desperately used to want to marry.  And it’s strange, because now, it’s Keith he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and Adam is just a dull ache from the past. 

 

Strangely, now, even as his heart leaps in his chest and he feels like Keith could end him right here and now with his gaze, Shiro doesn’t feel so scared anymore. Somehow, when Keith holds his arm like that, and looks at him like that, and the day is perfect, not too warm or too cold, with the sun high in the sky and only the two of them here, no matter how much he’s going to stutter and fail miserably and make a fool out of himself, he wants to take his chance — to try to do this right. 

 

He’s not confident it’s going to work. But he feels incredibly light, an unknown force pulling him up, and yes his hands are shivering with anticipation, with worry, but he wants to go through it. He might be terrified to mess his friendship with Keith, but isn’t keeping on lying to him worse? 

 

“Keith, I—” he grabs his hand, suddenly looks away. It’s hard, and every sound he makes is strained, but — but he can do it. Lance’s voice echoes in his head. He’s got this. His face is probably bright red and Keith is looking at him with wide eyes, but he can do this. The words are stuck in his throat « I need to take you somewhere. »

 

Keith tilts his head and smiles, his hair falling on his face in a way that makes Shiro combust. “Oh, yeah. Sure.” 

 

And that way, Shiro starts to drag Keith through the big square, and he’s not paying any attention to the pretty flowers and colors, no. Because there’s something more important, something all-encompassing and that is going to be the end of him. The warmth of Keith’s hand in his. He wonders if Keith, too, can feel his pulse run wildly through him, like thunder, skittering to his fingertips, and he wonders if it’s infectious, if for some reason or another, surprise, fear, expectation, Keith’s heart starts hammering loudly against his ribcage. He can’t allow himself to look back, he can’t slow down his pace, no matter how awkward it is — he’s walking so fast that Keith has to run to match his pace and he can’t bring himself to say another word, to explain himself. His grip is tight, too tight, probably. The increasingly long silence between them is getting very uncomfortable too. Shiro can’t help but congratulate himself — did he just fail step one? or is it step two? 

 

When finally, he spots the place, he manages to breathe again, relief coursing through him. When his hurried steps come to a halt, Keith looks up to him, and again, he’s smiling and just says, “oh it’s where we…”

 

“Let’s just sit for a while, please.” He asks. Begs, if you’d listen to his tone of voice, but he wants to believe he manages to avoid looking completely miserable. Keith shoots him a confused stare, but sits nonetheless, and Shiro takes place next to him. He takes the phone out of his pocket and looks at it. Sighs in relief as he realizes the device hasn’t been crushed under the pressure Shiro has put on it for the last hour. 

 

“I…” he tries, stops because his voice doesn’t sound right. He closes his eyes, and shakes his head before feeling hands on his shoulders. When he opens his eyes again, Keith’s eyes are fixed on him and his brows are creased in an obvious worry.

 

“Shiro? Are you okay?" He asks, and Shiro nods, gulps.

 

“Y-yeah. Don’t worry. It’s just. Hard.”

 

Keith seems to ease a little, sits back, looks at the sky above them, blue, deep blue with a few clouds around it, and sighs. “It seems like it was so long ago. But it was just, what. Four years?”

 

Shiro chuckles a little, feeling tension start to leave him, feeling his muscles relax, and he thinks that he can finally look like a shadow of his usual composed self, when he’s not being a disaster because Keith is there and beautiful and kind and compassionate and—

 

“I just… I’ve just something important to tell you.”  Shiro tries to find a way around it, plays a bit with the phone in his hands before switching it on. He can’t look Keith in the eyes, because it really feels like his heart is going to explode, and Keith laughs gently.

 

“What’s with all that staging? It’s not like you!” He sounds amused, mirth at the edge of each of his words, glittering in his eyes, and Shiro wishes Keith could go on speaking like that forever.

 

“I’ve already tried — to tell you, that is— but every time I try, I… I fuck up, so… so there’s this song, and I think it says it better than I ever could, but Keith, that’s… that’s how I feel about you.” 

 

He shoves the earbuds in Keith’s hands. He’s looking up at him, blinks — once, twice, and if Shiro’s thoughts weren’t so fogged by his own nervousness, maybe he’d manage to get more than a hint of what is going on through Keith’s head. 

 

But then Keith just smiles, again, trusts Shiro with his entire being and Shiro wonders if it’s a good thing when what he’s doing could break that precious friendship they both cared about so much. He puts the earphones on, and Shiro clicks the song, gives Keith the phone.

 

And then he wants to steel himself for the expected rejection. There is no excuse to what he’s doing, and really, now that it’s happening, he could have found better than a song about an ogre and an ogress being in love — no matter how sweet the romance in the movie is or how cute he thinks the song is. It’s still a song from a kid’s movie that Keith probably hasn’t watched or doesn’t really like. 

 

He wants to prepare himself for the eventual letdown, Keith putting a distance between them until they’re nothing more than shadows on each other’s lives, but as he sees Keith close his eyes with a small, content smile on his lips, he can’t bring himself to. When Keith can’t see him, he allows himself to stare, to look at the beauty laid next to him. How the sun lights Keith’s skin perfectly and how this smile is probably the best thing he’s ever seen. 

 

Without the phone, he can’t know how far Keith is in the song, but his face doesn’t change, and he even moves his head to the beat of the music. Shiro can’t help but smile, and hope blossoms in his chest. He doesn’t want to believe, he doesn’t want to hurt himself when he’ll realize that Keith misunderstood, or just hides it to let him down gently because he’s caring like that. 

 

But then, Keith’s eyes widen, and turn to him. And Shiro can’t count all the emotions that are hidden under the shock and he can only hope, only pray — Keith doesn’t think he’s been betrayed by the person he’s put everything in, by the person he's given so much. 

 

But Keith’s hands are shaking, all the composure he’s had in the day long forgotten, and his hand, small, so small, reaches up to cover his mouth as he whispers — « Oh god ».

 

He slowly turns to Shiro, and one of the earpiece falls. He takes the other one off, and his eyes are fixed on him now, brows creased and oh, how his eyes shine. Shiro’s stuck between utter panic and amazement. The phone is forgotten in his other hand.

 

It feels like he’s been met with a mirror. It’s like he’s seeing his reflection again, except that now, his eyes are glassy and wide in disbelief. And he’s got Keith’s face. Unmarked and soft, rounder features as opposed to the sharp jaw people hitting on him always mention. 

 

“Do you… really…” His voice is soft and small, so small, tight with emotion, with the realization of what Shiro hasn’t been really good at hiding until now. He’s looking up to him now, shy, timid — not in a way he’s ever seen Keith be. 

 

Shiro’s forehead touches Keith’s and all of his thoughts go blank as he realizes what this is, what this might be — Keith might love him back, love him  _ like that _ . The concept is foreign, and yet it’s the only explanation Shiro can think of when he sees how Keith leans in his touch when his thumb tenderly rests against Keith’s cheek, and the feeling that sparkles in him is like a tidal wave, it destroys everything in him, and he feels his own sight get blurry, as something hitches in his throat when he tries to breathe. Keith’s hair is as soft as he’s always dreamt it to be, no— it’s even better. Because this is real. The warm skin he’s cradling in his hand is Keith, solid, and real, not a delusion from his dreams, and Keith looks down at his lips when he’s finally answering, with a smile dancing on his lips —

 

“Of course, I do.” 

 

His answer is clear and simple, and it flows perfectly on his lips.

 

Forehead against forehead, he feels drawn in, leans forward as his eyes close and finally, his whole body screams, finally, their lips meet, and it’s the best feeling in the world. Electricity courses through his body, and it’s like drowning — he can’t breathe, as if the air had been punched out of him, he doesn’t quite realize what’s happening, and the fact that the person that wraps his arms around him, that tries to inch closer to him and whines in the kiss is Keith feels surreal. And yet — it  _ is _ him. One of his hands trail up in the inky black hair, gently stroking the nape of his neck, and the other finds its way on Keith’s waist. It  _ is _ Keith, it  _ feels _ like him, and the way he tries despite not knowing how that works — Shiro loves it. 

 

When Shiro finally opens his eyes and can’t help but gaze fondly at the man in front of him, he finally manages to say these words, that have been on the tip of his tongue for so long. 

 

“I love you, Keith.” And it feels right. It rings true, and Keith’s eyes are trailing on the ground, his lips curved into a soft smile.

 

And he chuckles softly as he says it back.

 

“I love you too… Takashi?”  Keith tries the name on his lips, before quickly adding, “I can say it, right?”  His eyes turn back to him, as Shiro registers it. 

 

He pulls Keith close and his face rest in the crook of Shiro’s neck and he quickly assures him, “of course you can.”

 

“God… you have no idea how I’ve dreamt of… of being the one allowed to say this.” The voice is quivering against his neck, and the hands around him are shaking as well. Shiro’s hold tightens, gently stroking his back.

 

“It’s yours, Keith, it’s all yours, it’s always been yours,” Shiro says. And yes. Even back then, when Keith had been like a little brother, he wouldn’t have been bothered by it — what he feels for Keith, it transcends whatever label you want to pull on it. Keith is his family. He’s always been. But waiting until now, as he presses a kiss to Keith’s cheek and he feels him tense up, is the best. 

 

There’s nothing that can compare to what he’s feeling right now, as he feels Keith’s weight against him, as he feels him breathe against his neck — as he feels that he is loved back as much as he loves. 

 

Keith chuckles lightly, and Shiro hums in curiosity. 

 

“What’s on your mind?”

 

“Did you just… fucking confess to me with a Shrek reference?”

 

After the initial surprise, the initial  _ shock _ , he laughs, because yes, he really just did that. He feels the judgment in Keith’s voice, and he loves even this, even that judgmental energy coming off of Keith, directed at him, feels so good. Because he’s holding him in his arms, and if he wants he can just turn around and press his lips to Keith. Because Keith loves him  _ back _ .

 

“Uh… maybe…” He mutters, and he tries to sound scared but he really can’t, not when Keith fits so well in his arms and is nuzzling against his neck like that. Not when he’s so happy and relieved, and the sun shines over the two of them like they’re a newborn star. 

 

“Somehow I can’t even be mad at you.”

 

Falling for Keith like that was an accident, and it was the best accident that ever happened to him.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ... And yes, Lance did let Shiro come back in his own house after he received the confirmation that their little problem had been taken care of. Keith will probably never get over the fact that it has taken Shrek 2 and this song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUypt2nvorM) for them to get together. But it's okay if Shiro likes it. 
> 
> I wanna thank Jaja for the title and everyone in the gc for helping me with it & screaming with me about it. 
> 
> Finally, Epi, you're the best and I hope, again, that you spent a wonderful birthday!


End file.
